In all honesty, I don’t remember more than half of the sermons/lessons I’ve listened to over the last 7 years or who preached/taught them. I take notes so I have something to go back on in case I want to look into it. But you know how every so often you hear one that really makes you think and it changes your life? There was one lesson I heard years ago (one of those that really stood out) by Andy Stanley (Love, Sex & Dating series) and this one question stuck out at me and still finds its way into my mind every so often…
ARE YOU WHO THE PERSON YOU ARE LOOKING FOR IS LOOKING FOR?
Seriously, ask yourself this question and take a few minutes to think about it!
WHAT DO YOU WANT IN YOUR FUTURE PARTNER?
I’ve thought about this quite a bit, so here is some of mine to get you started on yours… (These are not in any particular order, just writing them as they come to me)
- Someone who doesn’t just say they’re Christian, but acts like it
- Someone who I can tell is a Christian by the way they live
- Someone who attends church on a regular basis
- Someone who is involved in the church, not just attends services
- Someone who prays and puts God first
- Someone who believes God is who He says He is
- Someone who believes God will do what He has promised
- Someone who has a passion to know God more
- Someone who knows and believes in God’s supernatural power
- Someone who values their family and wants their own one day
- Someone who is going to be faithful in their relationship to me
- Someone who will be open and honest about their feelings
- Someone who is good with children and wants their own
- Someone who I find attractive inside and out
- Someone who finds me attractive inside and out
- Someone who goes to God’s Word, before other people, for advice
- Someone who knows God’s voice and is sensitive to it
- Someone who believes in tithing and offerings, and lives it out
- Someone who works hard, but also makes time for others
- Someone who knows how to prioritize
- Someone who manages their time and money well
Those are just some traits I’m looking for. Yours may be very different. I put this out there for you to get the idea of what I’m talking about when I ask you to think of what you want in a future partner. After making your list, you have to ask myself…
“DO I POSSESS THESE TRAITS?”
Face it… if what you want in your partner is nothing like what you are, then that person you’re looking for isn’t looking for someone like you. OUCH! Harsh, maybe; but true!
We’ve all heard 2 Corinthians 6:14 “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers,” many times, but I’ve come to realize you can be unequally yoked with someone who calls themselves a believer too. Though this isn’t to say that there won’t be differences.
I’m not talking about things like if one can paint portraits and the other can only draw stick people… or if one plays a musical instrument and the other doesn’t… or if one likes sports and the other doesn’t know who the Toronto Maple Leafs are… They play hockey, right? Haha! You catch my drift… I’m talking about things that matter a lot and things that are important in life, for the long haul and in light of eternity.
Once you figured out what you want in a future partner, you need to examine yourself and see if you fit all, most, part or none of the traits. The world focuses on finding the right person and I believe that there is a right person out there for everyone BUT “don’t focus on finding the right person, focus on becoming the right person.” (Andy Stanley) When you do, I believe the right person will find you at the right time.
At first, when you compare yourself to what you’re looking for, you may be disappointed. I know I was. When I heard that message and was asked that question for the first time and thought about, I was disheartened! But don’t be discouraged. Now I’m thankful I heard it, because with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, I was able to make changes in my life and work towards becoming the person I’m looking for is looking for. And you can too! Remember, you can do all things through Christ. (Philippians 4:13)
So I leave you with this… Really think about it. Be honest with yourself. Ask God for wisdom because if you ask, He will give it to you. (James 1:5)
